|Shunosaurus is simply a classic of sauropods.|
When fanboys don’t know who the fanboys are
In response to that guy who used my illustration for... I don't even know, for what the whole thing was worth for
I just came across this guy, as he used one of my illustrations, and certainly not in a nice way.
I am not a Jurassic Park fanboy, but I am a fan. I know actually even more about the franchise, than most fanboys. But I don’t see myself as a fanboy and don’t want to identify myself with those morons, because as a fan, I can accept the flaws of my fandom and know, that they are there, from the inaccuracies to the camera team’s helicopter’s shadow in one of the shots in JP III. And when I say, that I know more than fanboys, then I mean, that those rabid awesomebro Jurassic World fanboys didn’t even remember, that Dr. Wu was in the first film, until they checked it online after they saw JW this year, the baby Stegosaurus from TLW:JP was nicknamed Claire by the special effects team, and the character Robert Burke is obviously based on Robert Bakker even down right to the awesome cowboy hat and beard and was shown as a baddie namby-pampy as he’s Horner’s rival. Also I don’t get, why JP fanboys are so upset with the “Alan”-scene in JPIII like Star Wars fanboys with Jar Jar… It was a great way to show, how intelligent those things are and connects perfectly with Grant’s experience with Ellie Sattler’s parrot, who once remembered his name. The only thing, that annoyed me was, that in this dream sequence was the updated new raptor breed, which Grant never encountered before…
This pretty much sums up, what a fanboy is:
Fact is, that I love the JP franchise and that to be a fanboy, you need a fandom. But are accurate depictions of dinosaurs a fandom? Is real life a fandom? To my knowledge not. You can be a fan of a franchise or a person, but can you really consider reality a fandom?
Not to mention, that those, who criticised this movie also were the ones who watched it.
Then he goes over to Sinocalliopteryx, complaining on Brian Switek's article about it, as Switek wrote, what an amazing predator it is.
Maybe he thought, that Switek's article, which has nothing directly to do with Jurassic World ruins his fandom? Probably he didn't know, that Switek is a scientific consultant for the Jurassic World website and the author of "My Beloved Brontosaurus", where the nostalgia is already in the title. But again, Jurassicx World fanboys don't know everything about their fandom and shouldn't even be called fanboys, but just "awesomebros".
So he goes over to say: "You know, I showed Sinocalliopteryx to my uncle and cousin, asking them what they would do if they found this thing on their property. Rather than cower in fear or gasp “hell no, I ain’t going near that thing”, they simply said they would shoot it like any other varmint. In fact, with few exceptions (Yutyrannus, Therizinosaurus, Gigantoraptor, Deinocheirus), pretty much all feathered dinosaurs could be easily dispatched with Uncle Colt."
Of course you could shoot them like any other animal, as they are just animals, not theme park monsters (time to remember Alan Grant's quote from JPIII). You can also shoot a wolf, but normal people aren't equipped with guns all the time. Don't know, if that is the case in the mid US, but you are just writing this, as if everyone there seems to be a redneck, who is armed to the teeth.
So he shows off his weapon collection for some reason like those cliché weeaboos with their 100% authentic katana and shuriken collection. I don't know, what his weapon collection has to do the slightest with Jurassic World, but oh well.
You could also shoot a JP raptor with a colt. It's not like their skin is bulletproof, just because they are featherless or something. Heck, the "raptors" in JW are even scalier then in the previous films! In JP they had smooth, bird-like skin after all! Now what about fending off Sinocalliopteryx without a gun? I don't think, that when you would encounter this animal in a theme park, I don't think you would be allowed to carry a gun with you as a tourist. Facing off a group of Sinocalliopteryx unarmed? Probably not a good idea...
After that he goes over to the Build a Better Fake Theropod-project, which was brought to life by the amazing Brian Engh and complains, how boring the fake theropods created by fans look, by just ignoring the scary and creative examples and just picking a few ones, which are amongst the least terrifying ones.
Does this look like a generic theropods to you?:
Things with feathers are not scary? Like this one?:
No matter, how many gile knifes used by the Afar tribe of Ethiopia you have and how much of a tough bastard you are, this herbivore can still kill you with a single hit:
Or try to use your weapon collection on this one:
So he goes over to his "boring" examples of #buildabetterfaketheropod and starts with Alex's quilled slasher.Only the WIP, while the finished version was already out:
Sure, the design does not look THAT crazy, but it isn't any less creative, than Indominus rex, to be honest. And Alex didn't just create this one, but also bioluminescent compys, a sail-backed giant camouflaging allosaurid and this:
Remember alvarezsaurids, those tiny insect-eaters with the nipple arms? Those giant ones will stare into your soul, before they'll cut open your jeep and swallow you alive!
The next fake theropods he complains about is Rick's redesign of Indominus rex.
The blogger complain's, that Rick's design "just looks like some generic theropods". Well, it does... when you simply ignore its unique proportions, the dentary and squamate-like position of the eyes, which calls back the snake-DNA. But not only that. This isn't Rick's only fake theropod, but he also created this terrifying eldritch horror:
Fish fins? Check. Tentacles? Check. Split jaw derived from snake genome? Check. And the Plokamorhynchus harlequinus has even more features, that definitely sets it apart from a "generic theropod".
Then he goes over to my suckertip. It was the first one in my new fake theropods series and I didn't want to start with something too overpowered. I even wanted to avoid starting with hybrids and so it wasn't a hybrid at all, but just a genetically modified scansoriopterygid.
So his opinion on my suckertip was "What?! You didn’t build a better fake theropod, you just spliced an oviraptorsaur with Ahnold." Funny, as it wasn't supposed to be a hybrid, but instead just, as I said, a modified scansoriopterygid. Also he obviously failed to write oviraptorosaur (while calling himself "A Central Coast Paleontologist") and Arnold correctly, while even linking to Arnold Schwarzenegger and still not noticing it. Always funny to see, how people don't use the internet, while using the internet. And it does even look like an obvious scansoriopterygid, and not an oviraptorosaur! The skull shape? The teeth? Wing membranes (which looked for some reason like thick muscles to him)? Later on I created more lethal fake theropods, after the creation of the pack hunting suckertip, which only prefers to hunt in dark indoor areas.
This one uses its claws to rip off your guts:
This spinosaur has a buzzsaw-shaped lower jaw and a thick armor:
This one impales you either with its beak or spiked tongue (Still not scary enough to you?):
And this one is like two Jeff Goldblum films (Jurassic Park and The Fly) for the price of one:
And for the last he shows a fake theropods by the one, who started the meme - my favourite rapper Brian Engh:
And it's not just, that it has feathers. The feathers help it to camouflage, blending in with the vegetation, becoming invisible. And those eyes are not terrifying to you? Really?
And this isn't Brian's only fake theropods, of course.
The proof, that #prattkeeping doesn't always have to work. Especially with highly intelligent self-aware corvid-dromaeosaur-hybrids:
Instead of getting killed by marine reptiles, this giant fake theropods kills marine reptiles:
Heard you were talking shit about scansoriopterygids earlier:
And who cares, how many guns you have, if it can kill you, before you are able to shoot?:
And these are of course not all of his creations and certainly not all fake theropods that were created under the hashtag in general.
The last part of his article was just complaining, that dinosaurs get more attention, than fossil mammals and I agree, that extinct mammalian fauna doesn't get the attention it deserves. However I don't get, what this has to do with complaining about those, who complain about Jurassic World. After all the Jurassic Park franchise caused that popularity boost and within the last months especially Jurassic World. So what do those, who criticise Jurassic World have to do with this?
Nothing at all. And that's the point. This was completely off topic, just as he showed off his weapon collection and was rather something, he should have featured in another article, but there it was completely out of place.
Just someone, who still is developing his own art style.|
Maybe I'll become a professional artist someday...
Most time I do some paleoart or draw cryptids... and from time to time fanart.
Sometimes with a pencil, a ballpoint pen, a brush or even with a computer mouse.
German: Native speaker (obviously)
English: Not perfect, but enough to communicate... Able to use AE and BE. (9 years)
French: Enough to not order a snail in a restaurant. (5 years)
Spanish: Beginner (2 years)
Oh! And just another thing: For some reason, I tend to say Hypsolophodon, instead of Hypsilophodon...
Please remind me, if I got it wrong, again.
And nearly no one reads long descriptions. Therefore stamps!